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  • iaindryden1

Surfing the murk

It suits him to use his past as currency, just as Prince Harry does. Unlike the Prince who works for charities, he doesn’t work, unlike Harry, he hasn’t got much money for it suits him to do nothing. Fit as a fiddle, it surprises me that he’s unemployed, relying on government money. Unlike Harry, he doesn’t do anything for society, he simply sits at home growing fat on a lazy existence and he justifies this parasitical existence by saying that at school he was bullied hence he’s damaged for life. So what. I was bullied and far worse, I still bare the scars these decades later but I’m not living with it.

We can hold onto the past and let things that happened a long time ago define who we think we are. If we do, it shows we’ve not really grown-up…. we’re still clinging on to that person we were. This isn’t to say that poor Price Harry’s loss wasn’t as dreadful as he says it was, losing a parent you love hurts deeply whatever your age. But to blame others, as my friend does, saying a few idiots made life at primary school tough, is to ignore that we make of our lives what we want. We can wallow or we can choose to make use of what those events did to us.

It suits Prince Harry’s enormous wallet to go on to the most popular media outlets and tell the whole world (literally) that his life is troubled because the media chase him. It suits my friend to pretend he’s mentally crippled so that he continues to get his weekly government assistance. It suited countless others like me to use the hurt and the many difficulties in our past lives to fuel our way forwards. We are not caught in a time capsule, we are stronger for facing the muck and rising above it.

Three days ago I was told by a consultant that I was the worst case he’d seen and he was just looking at one of my issues, combined, all of these interacting problems make my existence tough, but rather than feel down hearted, I remind myself that others suffer more. I also tell myself that life is incredibly short, that each day has to be appreciated as much as one can. It takes a huge effort to rise above the mental mire that ill health creates, but you can. When you do, even though things still continued to feel bad, you live rather than wallow in the swamp.

When we interact with life in the present moment we’re not seeing it through murky glasses, but with the clarity which being in the present moment grants. Stepping outside our conditioning, being able to hear that bird, smell the air, sense the world we stand within (without instantly turning back to our habitual thought processes and moods) grants us freedom. A freedom which doesn’t deny the past, nor what it might be doing to us right now, but which is alive. Independent. At ease. Relishing life.






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