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  • iaindryden1

Simple kindness

People are talking about it all over the world, and they are doing so because we are so caught up in a time which counts every minute as cash and so, rushed to deliver, we speed about with little time to linger. It is in dawdling that we are enriched, not by wanting instant wealth, as seen on TV or the Internet. It is in slowing down that we are able to be human, rather than automatums. Kindness is under rated. I’m not the only one thinking this in this weird period of history when all seems gloom, politically, economically and most of all, environmentally. Yesterday on BBC Radio4, a top doctor said kindness is perhaps the most important thing for Britain’s NHS (National Health Service). Kindness between colleagues, other staff and patients creates a positive working atmosphere in which people can think laterally, see clearly and give the time required to each action.

Today I'm emerging from a traumatic period of bad health and my way was eased by kindness. Each doctor, nurse or administrator who dealt with me during six visits to hospital in ten days has been there for me, impressively concerned, effective; this is kindness. Kindness starts with concern, and consideration of the a situation comes in to play, followed by a humane attitude which affects ones decision making and subsequent actions. Kind people show degrees of altruism, they are compassionate and being gracious, they are amiable company. This sounds like the ideal person.... and I am lucky to be married to her. All these shocking, worrying days, she has been here for me at every stage and in every way. Today, as things settle down, she is emotionally exhausted - that's a potential down side of kindness, if emotion is involved; her love for me had her on the edge and this is a kind, respected, but formidable woman when she had to be, who was supervisor of midwives in a top London hospital. Kindness transforms our lives. You see it rippling out from the smallest act to effect the behaviour of those around. In hospitals this benefits the patient, for you are less stressed - we pick up the undercurrents around us. My wife said each of the world respected specialists generated their own atmosphere which spilled from them to the staff and pregnant women. Things always went smoothly when a calm, wise, considerate professor was on duty. When a nervy guy worked, everything, even the women and their babies, became nervy. Under the influence of an aggressive consultant aggro sparked everywhere. Such atmospheric shifts occurred amongst the same staff and same women who had been present a couple of hours earlier.

We carry irritation around with us all the time, however, transmuting it with a more considerate view changes everything. That person you dislike, seen with a touch of comprehension, is somebody suffering from some syndrome or other, be it egocentric, psychopathic or sheer ignorance. This turns them from a threat to a solvable or avoidable experience and makes things between you easier to deal with, hence your own load lightens. We cannot always change things. There is a macho man I respect who intensely dislikes me for no other reason than he misunderstood me and has never put aside the space to discuss it. I feel goodwill to him, despite his bullying and intimidation tactics which fail to cowe me although I am weakened by illness these days. Not carrying the weight of irritation on my shoulders when we meet, I feel lighter, able to be open, at ease. It is when we are at ease that kindness emerges, for we are no longer in threatened-mode, so work on relaxing yourself! Just yesterday, my health-future looked bleak and nasty and rasther than fret, I've been kind to myself, which has helped me cope. Today, when everything has dramatically turned for the better, I'm reaping the rewards of inne kindness. Though utterly exhausted, though the day’s details are not easy, my moral is high. Go on, try it, be kind to yourself, for as they say, everything starts at home. Sent from my iPad

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