Tears

Today I was crying and it was only mid morning. I was sat in a dark room surrounded by others who were laughing, but tears seeped from my eyes and I had to keep wiping them so I could see clearly.

I never imagined the film would make me react so, but then I’ve not ever gone to the films in the morning before and we had had to because the film is booked out all week. As we walked out, there was a long line of people waiting for the next showing and it was only midday!

Several things touched me. There was the joy, the emotion, the actress. Let’s take the last. Much of the time, Amanda Seyfried was the image and had the character of a Swedish actress I loved, but my tears weren’t for her but for life’s zeast lost. B, the real life actress I was with for almost three years, was stunning and the young woman in the film seemed to have B’s character. She took me back to a time when Swedish actors on tour entered my college dinning hall and two of the women came straight over to sit at my table, B being one of them. It was love at first sight, our eyes had connected the second she entered the crowded room, which fell silent in awe of those stunning actors. However, B was not right for me, but mutual passion is why it took a while for us to part.

Then there was the dancing. Oh the dancing in the film! I wriggled in my chair wanting to get up and join them, but those days are over. How I loved dancing, how my tears showed I miss being able to!

And the emotions. Wow, the emotions, one minute laughter ripples through my chest, the next, tears for my long departed mother and then suddenly being driven through the lovely actress’ love scenes. It was a roller coaster and as we walked out into the sunshine, we were dazzled from the effort of living “Mama Mia!”

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