Facing life

Here's a link to placards at a London anti-Trump march -

https://www.facebook.com/61402744/posts/10103276626985665/

Well Donald Trump has outstripped even him self, which is to say something. Mind you, I don’t think he noticed. Just before the last US elections I was in northern Spain talking to a group of Texans who claimed Trump was standing up for the ordinary American. They were going to vote for him and I was astounded. Compared to Obama and other President, he feels like an overgrown lout wearing a badly dyed troupe*, yet those intelligent, sensitive Americans were right, Trump became President. What with another cardboard cut-out to our east (Putin) and ISIS in our midst, the world feels a peculiar place, anything could tip the relative peace we’ve enjoyed for a long time. The world economy could spin into reverse. Let’s hope people learn from all this insecurity.

My own life feels rather insecure right now. My declining health means we have to move from this village we love and settle somewhere with amenities. Yet feel lonely, in the year we’ve been here, we’ve only had about three people stop by uninvited and as I’m unable to socialise much in the evening, this looks as if it’ll continue. I want somewhere with cafes, shops, an arts centre and interesting places to meet people during the day.

This situation became obvious about a month ago, but we’ve spent the time wobbling between knowing we have to and not wanting to leave this charming honey stone cottage with its great garden and 40 mile views over Somerset’s plains and hills. We went away in our little VW van this week to settle our minds and see what emerged upon returning. The answer was clear - sell up and go. Next week the estate agent arrives and we’ll discover if we can recoup the money we’ve spent renovating the property.

Prevaricating only makes things worse as problems seem to grow larger if not faced. Squaring up to life is healthy, you feel empowered, your life is in your hands, even as in this case bad health forces you to act. Once you make a decision, action is fuelled by its own energy and your mind clears, what you have to do may tire you but you simply get on with it.

It will also be a relief to not have the debts incurred doing vital work on this place and to be able to enjoy a coffee out and go for a meal from time to time. The problem we face, though, is that we won’t have much capital and there aren’t many small towns near here which we could afford to move in to. Even in those, it’ll be hard to find something suitable.

Property only gets cheap enough once you drive to Wales, Leicestershire, Shropshire, places which don’t catch us. Right now we’re still doing our research and wondering what various area will give us. The last thing we’d expected so soon was this, particularly after our dramatic and disturbing departure from France 18 months ago. Tough as it is, it’s better to move now rather than later when I’ll be too exhausted to cope.

*Here’s what my computer’s mike made of my description of Trump. Maybe it knows more than I give it credit for knowing. “side ginger to pay phone was a complete mixed match fuck this so funny.” Or perhaps I should speak more slowly next time.