My last day?
I'm in the midst of an interesting psychological problem today. It all seems quite innocent, but considering my history, it could be a tough day. Even my last.
In a couple of hours I'll face a dentist extracting a molar which split in half the wrong way a week ago when we were on holiday. My teeth have a history of doing this when we are enjoying ourselves. The other day the dentist had no time, "Because it's going to be a tough one and things could go wrong."
If they do, I'll be rushed off to hospital and have to have an anaesthetic. OK, that's a good back-up, you might say.
Yes, with a normal person.
But I've been warned not to have another anaesthetic as the last one nearly killed me, causing major problems with my heart and blood pressure. This made things go wrong and I'm still feeling the impact, for it created many of the physical problems I've faced these past four years, some of which have taken me close to death's door, and I'm talking about the past few months too.
Oh well, there's no option. I'm in pain and can't eat on one side of my mouth. Leaving things as they are will only create the "Things going wrong" scenario the dentist fears.
My inner attitude is one of acceptance. I'm in her hands. I hope she handles it well. Hopefully see you next post.